In 2013, my husband Thomas and I adopted our first cat, Avery, a stray we found in our garden. He was an only-child cat for years, as we were moving from country to country, starting from Canada to the UK, and then to Portugal. We didn’t want to adopt another cat during our travels.
A few months after settling in Portugal, we fell in love with another stray, Bjorn, and took him in during 2019. We were afraid of losing him to a drunk driver, as it had happened to one of the other three Persian cats who visited our house daily. Eventually, we realized the other Persian cats needed help too. They were in bad condition, and we did our best to help them by cutting off some of their matts, but they needed complete shaving.
It was strange. I quickly realized the problem wasn’t the new cat himself or that there was a new cat at home. The situation caused stress and anxiety in my first cat, Avery. Sometimes it boiled over and made him lash out. Essentially, I found that his personality didn’t change like many pet parents think. Instead, his stress level changed, causing him to act out. I wrote a long article about what I did to make the two cats get along so Avery could be calmer and happier about sharing his space. If you need more tips after reading that and find yourself in a similar situation, check out this article where I helped someone who brought in a new kitten to her previously single-cat home. I would put Avery in a carrier while playing with Bjorn as aggressive instances with Bjorn would stress Avery out a lot. Eventually, he could watch Bjorn play without getting upset and angry. But it took time. Amazon Basics Soft-Sided Mesh Pet Travel Carrier, Small – Amazon. After a while, I took in as many cats as I could who needed help. I kept them separate depending on who got along with who. I tried to help them get along by giving each cat their own space and time in their own room instead of being out and free throughout the house. It was some time before I knew which cats I was keeping and which I was adopting out. Finally, it came down to three. Avery, Bjorn, and Athos were all staying with me, and the others found a home with my brother. So I am still all their aunties. Nowadays, months later in a 3-cat household. My two newer cats are both freaking weirdos who easily get into Avery’s space. I amorously call them ‘Dwebbles’ because it’s hard to describe how little I thought Avery could get along with them. He’s practically stoic. They are fun-loving little weirdos who don’t acknowledge personal space and will bother each other to play and squabble, but almost like siblings. It’s not serious and doesn’t escalate to actual aggression. But Avery would get to the point of actual aggression, yelling, and potential fights with Bjorn when I first brought him in. Luckily, I diffused almost every fight. A few times, I came home to find fluff all over the floor, which scared me. These days, that never happens. Amazon Basics Large Cat Activity Tree – Amazon / eBay. At first, Avery couldn’t stop hissing and losing his mind at how annoying these cats were. He could boil over if they got in his space, and he would get jealous if they sat in his spot and hit them to get out. I would gently scold him and tell him not to do this. Eventually, he was completely in control and self-control became zero issue for him.
Which is all I could ask for honestly. But things didn’t stop there. Now he actually likes these two cats. Athos more than Bjorn. They snuggle with each other all the time. When I leave the room, they continue their snuggle. Sometimes Athos sneaks beside Avery for warmth and Avery looks happy.
Honestly, his personality has changed a lot. The neuroticism he used to have is nearly gone. I think the cats helped him not be so anxious and re-regulate what is stressful. Another big personality change is they taught him how to play. Avery was always lazy. Now he plays with the other cats. Sometimes daily, sometimes multiple times a day. Then not for a week. Usually Athos bothers him to play or he joins when he sees them playing. He also watches them play with automatic cat toys but prefers to play chase and jump on furniture. Pawaboo Interactive Cat Toy Hidden Mouse – Amazon. He engages with me with toys more often. Maybe it has to do with stress. Now that his neuroticism is gone, he’s happier and able to play. These days, there are zero friction points between Avery and the cats. They squabble like siblings. Trixie Pet Products Minou Cuddly Cave – Amazon / Chewy. Avery used to be the perpetrator. Now Bjorn swipes at Avery to play when he’s not in the mood and gets scolded. There’s balance in who’s the scoundrel. Avery doesn’t start things anymore. It’s crazy to see such a change. Bringing a new cat might be frustrating for Avery for a short time.He was quicker to accept Athos into the family after getting used to Bjorn. To be fair, it might be because he liked Athos a lot. Even today, he still accepts Bjorn, but it’s not the same as his relationship with Athos. I believe accepting these two helped with his separation anxiety and boredom at home. Now he needs less attention than before, probably due to reduced separation anxiety. He still adores all attention given to him. Sometimes when I’m busy and he wants too much attention, it can be resolved quickly with some bed snuggling and binge-watching TV shows. Before, it could take all day and night and sometimes not resolve when he couldn’t lie in the sun on cloudy days. Things are better. He seems much happier and less stressed. He doesn’t consider the other two cats a threat and only finds them annoying sometimes like siblings. This is obvious in the way he interacts with them. It makes me very happy. I never expected this bond. He used to be indifferent to other cats at best. Not anymore. Have you ever had a cat go through a personality change when you brought in a second cat? What were these changes and did they alter over time? Have you ever brought a second cat into the home and were surprised to find your first cat actually changed for the better because of a new cat they once hated? Would love to hear any thoughts or stories you have on the topic of cats changing because of their relationships with other cats! Please leave your comments below.
