I received a heartfelt email from a reader named Cindy, who recently discovered my blog posts about helping two cats get along. Cindy finds herself in a similar situation and sought additional advice for her unique case.
Cindy has newly adopted a kitten, whom she adores. She also has an older cat, approximately 5 years old, with a history of anxiety issues. While the two cats do not get along, Cindy is not overly concerned about them becoming best friends; she simply wishes for them to coexist peacefully. She has already implemented many of the tips from my articles and is looking for more advice.
I’ve had cats my whole life, and one of them responds to me in ways that make sense, bringing me joy. However, my other cat, a 5-year-old female named Dolly, has been a different story. She came from a farm, and due to the Napa Fires, she was separated from her mother and siblings at a young age, which has left her with physical and emotional scars. Fixing her physically was straightforward with a trip to the vet and antibiotics. However, her insecurities have been an ongoing project. I’ve spoiled and loved her in every way I know how over the past 5 years. Despite this, Dolly remains painfully shy and frightened of almost everything and everyone. The past five years have been challenging with Covid isolation and my husband’s Parkinson’s diagnosis, which required me to be his full-time caretaker. Being home with Dolly 24/7 has not been enough to overcome her stress and insecurities. She shows signs of major stress, such as sudden biting and scratching when she feels over-stimulated. Adding a new kitten to the household was meant to be a positive change, but it has highlighted Dolly’s stress levels. She often acts bored and lonely, watching outside cats or squirrels, which made me think a friend might be good for her. However, the transition has been difficult, and I’m realizing the extent of Dolly’s stress and the challenges in balancing my life as a 24/7 caretaker.
Cindy has reached out for advice on how to help her adult cat, Dolly, accept the presence of a new kitten with less anxiety. She has implemented some smart strategies, such as using a pet ‘screen door’ to safely separate the new kitten while allowing visual and olfactory contact between the cats. This method ensures the kitten’s safety and allows for a gradual acclimation process.
Initially, Dolly was reluctant to even approach the hallway where the kitten was kept, but over the course of a week, she has started to observe the kitten from a distance. While Dolly’s reaction has been curiosity rather than aggression, she still growls and hisses. Cindy has been showering Dolly with extra affection to help alleviate her stress, understanding that Dolly has been dealing with a significant amount of stress even before the new kitten arrived. She is seeking further insights and hopes that her cats can coexist happily in their home. My advice to Cindy is that patience and consistency are key. Over time, many cat behaviors can be improved, especially those stemming from stress and anxiety. It’s important to remember that emotional healing for cats can be a slower process compared to physical healing. I reassure Cindy that there is hope for her cats to coexist peacefully. With continued care, understanding, and gradual introductions, it’s possible for Dolly to accept the new kitten and for them to become a happy family. I appreciate Cindy’s concern and love for her cats, and I’m here to provide any further help or insight she may need.Same for us as humans most of the time, isn’t it? Amazon Basics Large Cat Activity Tree – Amazon / eBay.
But back to your particular situation. I honestly see a lot of hope here. You’re trying, which is the first and most basic step. Few people continue to try over time as it’s hard. You’re empathetic and read them as best as you can. When you couldn’t predict something, you understood why it happened after. This is a useful tool. You are home a lot and are a caretaker for your husband. Kudos to you! You have one-on-one time with the cats throughout the day. Consistent short bursts are useful for training a cat. You’ve got the basics down and want more things to try. Now I’m going to say something unexpected. Your new kitten can help your adult, stressed and anxious kitty heal her anxiety and become less nervous. I started writing about my experience with my first cat Avery. He has a much better life thanks to two cats. Realized this was a post in itself. Subscribe to this blog if you want to read that story. Edit 2024-01-08: The new post is up now. But back to your case. Your old cat is acting out with you as if she had siblings. She’s biting you but doesn’t want to hurt you. She doesn’t know how to get her way. She wants attention and probably only has you. You’re all she’s got. Until now. These two may help and heal each other as they grow together. First, you need to get them to co-exist. Then the magic happens slowly. Amazon Basics Soft-Sided Mesh Pet Travel Carrier, Small – Amazon. Whenever you play with your adult cat, put your kitten in a carrier and place her nearby.Introducing a new kitten to an adult cat can be stressful for both animals. Here’s how to manage the situation effectively.
When I adopted my second cat, Bjorn, I noticed my adult cat Avery became stressed and furious when Bjorn played. This behavior is likely because play mode for cats might be perceived as ‘practice hunting’ or a potential threat. Understanding this perspective is crucial to easing tensions between cats.
To help them coexist peacefully, I began by letting Avery play in front of Bjorn, who was safely in a carrier. This allowed Avery to meet her needs without perceiving Bjorn as a threat. The next step was to reverse roles, placing Avery in a carrier while playing with Bjorn.
Initially, Avery would be upset, but consistent repetition of this scenario led to her indifference over time. This exposure therapy helped Avery realize that no harm would come from Bjorn’s playfulness.
Lastly, I started placing Bjorn in a carrier next to me on the couch while cuddling Avery. This gradual process aimed to show Avery that Bjorn’s presence wouldn’t affect her bond with me or threaten her status. Eventually, Avery might even associate Bjorn’s presence with positive experiences, like cuddles and affection.
Products used: Sherpa Original Deluxe Pet Travel Carrier Medium – Amazon / eBay and Amazon Basics Soft-Sided Mesh Pet Travel Carrier, Small – Amazon.
Introducing a kitten to an adult cat can be a delicate process, but with patience and the right approach, it can be done successfully. Here are some steps to help facilitate a peaceful introduction:
1. Begin by allowing the kitten and adult cat to interact in a controlled environment, such as using a carrier. Let the kitten roam while the adult cat is in the carrier, and vice versa, for a few hours each. This allows them to get used to each other’s presence without the risk of physical confrontation.
2. Monitor their behavior closely. You should eventually notice the cats showing less interest in each other, as they no longer perceive one another as threats. At this stage, you can start to feed them together and engage in activities that the adult cat enjoys, with the new kitten present. This helps the adult cat associate the kitten with positive experiences.
3. Look for signs of tolerance, such as ignoring each other. This is a positive indicator that the anxiety between them is diminishing. It’s crucial to continue monitoring their interactions to ensure there won’t be any violence if left alone together.
4. Maintain separate spaces for each cat to prevent overstimulation and to allow them to retreat when needed. Even if progress seems slow, with consistent effort, the relationship between the cats should improve over time.
5. There are additional tips and tricks for managing cat behavior, which will be discussed in future articles. Stay tuned for more insights on this topic.
6. Share your thoughts and experiences on introducing old cats to new kittens. Have you had any challenges or successes? Any advice or encouragement to offer? We welcome your comments and stories below. Your input can provide valuable insights and support to others in similar situations.
Remember, patience and persistence are key when introducing a new kitten to an adult cat. With time and care, they can learn to coexist peacefully.
Matatabi Silver Vine Cat Chew Sticks – Amazon / Chewy
PetSafe Healthy Pet Simply Feed Automatic Cat & Dog Feeder – Amazon / Chewy
Catit Design Senses Food Maze – Amazon / Chewy
